The beginning of a new school year. I had started a new teaching position, teaching drama, visual and media arts in middle primary classes and team teaching a Year 1/2 class. I was excited to have won a teaching position, and I was looking forward to teaching what I love most, Creative arts.
It was a Thursday and I was driving home from work. What dominated my thoughts was one single sentence, “Please don’t let it be a brain tumour”. I knew that Todd was at Flinder’s Medical Centre having an MRI and seeing a specialist. Little did I know what lay ahead of me when I arrived home.
I found Todd in the office sitting quietly, looking pensive. I immediately asked him, “What did the doctor say? Is everything ok?” He did not reply straight away, and as he sat in the office chair, nothing at all prepared me for his reply.
“I have Parkinson’s”
“What, what do you mean?” I could feel my panic rising. How can this be? What the hell? Where has this come from? I felt confused and shocked, I couldn’t believe it. This news had snaked its way into our beautiful Adelaide Hills home, which I adore, without any warning and had now decided to permanently move in, without any intention of leaving, like an unwanted house guest.
All I remember from that evening is calling my best friend, desperately needing to find solace in someone who knows me so well. I remember blurting out the news, most likely incoherently. Claire listened, consoled and was a source of much needed strength.
I do not remember the next few days, they all blur into one. What remained constant, what continued to replay over and over in my mind was that one, ugly word, PARKINSONS. I saw it written in bold capital letters, sneering at me, it had imprinted in my brain. I saw it as I waited for sleep to come and it greeted me as I awoke in the morning, like garish, stage clown makeup.
As I arrived at work on Friday, desperately trying to be brave, to somehow lock that vile word away in the deep recesses of my brain, to hide it, to deny it. As I walked into the school office, I saw my lovely, supportive leaders and my brave demeanour betrayed me. I broke character, crying, the news spilling out like a burst dam.
This was a new beginning, my new reality. Life now would forever be altered.
